Residents of Akitenino village in Adyel division, Lira Municipality were on Saturday afternoon left dumbstruck by the ideas from a local boy’s head. Joshua, 7, left sports fans and bystanders as well as his own father in awe of his surreal intellect after a football match in the English Premier league in which his dad’s favourite team, Arsenal FC had another lackluster display, sending the fans deeper into their pit of frustration. The little lad started off by asking his dad why Arsene Wenger was still in charge of the football club despite what was in his (Joshua’s) opinion their abysmal performance over the past ten years. He argued that he had never seen Arsenal win the English premiership since he was born and yet the club had very talented and technically gifted players let alone huge stacks of money and so the problem was definitely the manager, Arsene Wenger whom he compared to Wile E. Coyote, the Looney Tunes character.

According to little Joshua, Wenger and the Coyote have more in common than they probably know, most obvious being their relentless pursuit of a goal and recurring failure. He also observes that both Wenger and Wile E are apparently high caliber geniuses though neither has any tangible proof over the past decade to substantiate the claims. What’s more, according to the Primary two pupil, is that Wenger will be known and remembered henceforth for his calamitous defeats and mishaps rather than for his greater achievements and contributions to the sport; something his counterpart, Wile E. Coyote is no stranger to, often coming up with out-of-this-world ingenious strategies to trap and devour the Road Runner that end in sad failure.


Joshua’s audience could only nod on, open mouthed, with blank gazes fixed on him as he finalized his submission saying it was too late to say Wenger should quit while on top, and so the Frenchman should simply bow out before it gets any worse for him and his reputation. Already he has been labeled “specialist in failure” by fellow manager Jose Mourinho and attracted criticism from aspiring US Republican Party presidential candidate Donald Trump. The last nail to the coffin came when Joshua suggested that while the rest of us evolved from apes, it is possible that Mr. Wenger comes from Wile E. Coyote’s gene pool which scientists are yet to investigate.


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