Ridiculed for his struggles with the queen’s language, Kato Lubwama is one of the newbies on parliament watch whose moves will be closely followed by the press and the public. However, the MP elect for Lubaga South is making news for reasons totally inconsistent with buffalo-cide. He made it clear in a press conference with journalists from various media houses that he wasn’t voted to the tenth parliament on account of his mastery of foreign languages but rather because of his capabilities which extend far beyond the comedy that propelled him to fame. “I am here to serve my people by being their voice in matters of the state,” said the DP die hard, “which is why my first contribution in the august house will be to table a motion to abolish the use of make-up and filters among girls.”

KATO

When asked about his experience, if any, with filters and make up, Lubwama was quick to deny personal experience with the “treacherous evil” as he called it, but pointed out that it is affecting many of his young male constituents and needs to be stopped before it causes any further disaster which he estimates could be of galactic proportions. “These things are evil, I tell you. They make a woman appear way more attractive than she really is, or even attractive when she actually isn’t, and in extreme cases, uglier than she really is, but the first two cases are my only concern,” Mr. Lubwama intimated to reporters. He added that many young men had fallen victim of this malign craft, going in for seemingly hot chicks on social media and in hotspots around various towns unaware of what truly lies beneath the layers of foundation and powder, or the deceptive software that clouds their sight, and realize only too late, usually after spending wads of hard earned money on phone calls, internet data, and drinks to mention but a few expenses. “You know I went to nursery school, and I recall a similar scenario between this girl in a red hood and a nasty wolf posing as the girl’s granny. These things have serious legal implications by the way; my learned brother the Lord Mayor, Erias Lukwago told me it is tantamount to false representation, in fact it is infragnito delicto!” The Lord Mayor however was unavailable to comment on the matter by press time.

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